nostalgia

i know what you're all thinking, two blogs in one day?!? i guess i'm feeling writerly. i'm sure that this is just the "shiney and new" aspect of this new blog, and it will fade over time. i will write in spirts where i post three times a day, and then won't update for months after that. but you're my friends, and will forgive me.

anyways, what is it about this time of year that makes so many people nostalgic? is there something in the fall air, the decaying leaves, that subconsciously reminds us of our own mortality? or perhaps it's a sick twist on holiday traditions, christmas is, for me at least, very seeped in the past. as such i tend to think back to long-forgotten christmases every year around this time. it's a depressing habit because it seems that no christmas will ever be as epic as that christmas when you were a little kid, when you didn't have to fight shoppers and balance your checkbook to get other people gifts, you just made them with your crayons. when you were hoping beyond all reason for that one.perfect.toy, and when you opened it on christmas morning everything just fell into place. the year becomes sealed forever in your memory as being somewhat of a christmas nirvana, that you'll never reach again.

some older friends tell me that this is not true, that when i have children of my own i will feel this excited, feverish anticipation of christmas once more; if only reflected in my children's smiles. but that seems far into the future, and rather intangible for this holiday season... doesn't it?

even my perfumes have become nostalgic as fall edges into winter, and the wheel of the year comes rolls and closer to it's pinnacle. my latest order from black phoenix alchemy lab was as follows:

antique lace
laudanum
seraglio
r'lyeh
nyarlathotep
ouija

i'm particularly excited to try r'lyeh, described on the site as "a hellishly dark aquatic scent, evocative of fathomless oceanic deeps, the mysteries of madness buried under crushing black waters, and the brooding eternal evil that lies beneath the waves." those of you who understand my feelings reguarding atlantis will completely see how this could be nostalgic for me.